A few weeks ago Josefina and I got married in Santa Barbara.
We’d been planning it for a year. Wedding planner, food vendors, run of show, all of our loved ones flying in from around the world. So many moving parts I lost count.
The weekend could have gone a hundred different ways. Stressful. Rushed. A blur. Something to get through.
Instead people kept telling us it was the best wedding they’d ever been to. Not because of the venue. Not because of the food. Because they could feel the love and all of the intention that was put into it.
Here’s one of the tools I used to prepare.
I’ve done this before every big moment of my life for years. Before every keynote. Before every hard conversation. Before every high-stakes weekend.
I call it watching the simulation.
You sit for a few minutes, close your eyes, and watch yourself move through the day ahead from a third-person view. Like a cartoon of you. Bright, colorful, playful. You see yourself waking up, having the conversation, walking into the room, handling the challenge, laying your head on the pillow at the end of the night.
You’re not just thinking about the day. You’re rehearsing it in your body.
Athletes do this before games. Actors do this before performances. Speakers do this before stages. Most people don’t do it before their actual life, which is why their actual life feels harder than it needs to.
Here’s how to run it.
- Set a timer for 5 minutes.
- Sit comfortably, close your eyes.
- Watch yourself from the outside like you’re watching a movie of your day.
- Make it playful. Bright, colorful, a little cartoonish. Not serious. Not heavy.
Then walk through the day. What do you do when you first open your eyes? How do you show up in the first hour? Who do you meet and how do you greet them? What challenges come up and how do you handle them? What does it look like to lay your head on the pillow at the end of the day feeling proud of who you were?
Go forward. Go backward. Notice the small stuff. See yourself at your best.
The point isn’t to control the day. The point is to prime your nervous system for the day so when it actually happens, your body already knows what to do.
For the wedding, I ran this simulation every night for the week leading up. I saw myself present with Josefina. Grounded with my family. Enjoying every moment instead of managing it. And when the weekend actually came, I wasn’t performing. I was just living the version of it I’d already rehearsed.
Here’s your challenge for the weekend.
Pick one important day or moment coming up next week. A meeting. A conversation. A workout. A whole day. Sit for 5 minutes and watch the simulation of it. Bright, colorful, playful.
Then live it and see what shifts.
Your life is worth rehearsing.
Naeem
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